Friendship with God

Imagine you and I just met for the first time. We form a relationship quickly and start going on outings together. It's all fun and games until one day I pull out this checklist from my back pocket. The checklist includes all the expectations I have of you and at the bottom there is a score. The score represents my rating of our relationship based on how many of my items you check the box on. I evaluate this list regularly to identify what you are or aren't doing for me. I even ask you over and over to do what is listed with no consideration towards how you may be feeling. We don't have normal conversations; I just pull out the list and wait for an answer. Occasionally when I see you perform one of my tasks, I thank you, but that's the extent of our dialogue, "Can you do 'x' for me?" or "Thanks for doing 'x' for me." I never ask you how you're feeling, what's on your mind, or what I can do for you without expecting anything in return.

How would this situation make you feel? Maybe if you were a robot doing what you're programmed to do, you'd be fine with this friendship model. I wonder how God must feel when we treat Him this way. Of course, He is much more patient and kinder than we could imagine, but He also has a jealous and fierce love for us. If you were to stop and evaluate the closest friendships you have, what are some things that set those people apart or your relationship with them? Are you able to talk without saying words? Do they weep when you weep? Do they insist on serving you? Are they good at listening? Can you have fun together?

God wants to have a deep and intimate friendship with you and me. Friendships are not formed over to-do list requirements of the other party. They are not formed by someone always meeting our every need. They are formed by spending quality time together and learning the attributes of the other person. In evaluating your relationship to God, what kind of friend do you think you are?

God can handle all of your questions, thoughts, and the rest, but He desires that you get to know Him apart from what He is able to do for you. When all of our conversations with God revolve around asking for something, we are missing our opportunity to sit with our Heavenly Father and simply be. So much of our asking would cease to exist if we practiced being still and knowing He is God.

You may be saying to yourself, "Well, those aren't the kind of things I'm asking for anymore. I am asking for God's Presence because I feel dry or lacking." Growing in friendship with God happens in stages and our desire for Him grows as we continue to spend time with Him. God delights in us wanting more of Him and to be saturated in His Presence, but I also know it is a great test of faith when we cannot feel Him. I personally believe for us to grow deeper, we must have a deep resolve to love Him and serve Him, feelings or not. Our feelings are bad drivers and will take us off a cliff if we let them. But God is unchanging, whether we feel Him or we don't.

So, no matter what you may be asking for, it is worth pondering over this question: If God never does 'x' or I never feel His Presence again, or He does not come through in the way I think He should, will I still love Him and trust Him?

How deep is the relationship you share with God? Is it based on what He will do or not do, or for who He says He is? How loyal of a friend would you say you are to Him? I love how Bill Johnson talks about this friendship with God, "If we rejoice in the acts of God without discovering His ways, we'll question who He is when He doesn't do what we've asked."

Dry seasons and valleys burst into rivers of delight when we pursue the heart of God. These seasons are invitations to finding out what God is really like. His seeming silence is your signal to pursue Him and in doing so you are met by love. God will never leave you or forsake you, but He will pull back a bit so you come to know His love for you in a greater way. He is not superficial! Take my invitation to turn the script around. Ask yourself how you can pursue God's heart and become a great friend. Spend time getting to know His attributes through His Word and simply listen.

James 2:23

And the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God.

John 15:15

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

James 4:8

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.